03 March, 2000
Eulogy by Manny Sepulveda
I do not know why life’s cycle chose to give Dick a heart condition
that took him away from us so soon. I do not have any biblical passages
to help us understand, nor do I have any words of wisdom to help us lose
the pain. What I do have that I can share with you are loving memories of
my best friend. Defining moments forever locked in the vault of memories
of my mind.
The friendship between Dick and I did not depend on being together. It
ran much deeper than that. Our closeness was nourished by something
inside of us that was always there ready to be shared whenever the need
was there. We didn’t have to see each other very much…or write to each
other very much…or phone each other very much. We always knew that at any
time, we could call, write or see each other ? and everything would be
exactly the same. We would understand what each other was saying and
everything each other was thinking.
We met in 1973. He was the manager of the appliance department at
Montgomery Ward; I was a clerk in sporting goods. One of our first
conversations was about the Los Angeles Dodgers and Sandy Koufax, the
great Dodger pitcher known for throwing a Hall of Fame curveball. We
started a bragging contest about our own ability to play the game. Dick
got a baseball, a bat and a glove…recruited another employee to be the
catcher and dared me to hit his curveball. This took place on the isle
between the two departments inside the store. Having just met the man and
having played baseball constantly, I decided to humor him. I was just
going to bunt the ball. His pitch was perfect and I froze. I only heard
two sounds ? the ball hitting the catcher’s glove and Dick yelling
"SUCKER." It was then that I realized this man could play the game.
On another day we were talking about the military. I was recalling my
days in the Army and how I did this and did that. Dick casually picked up
a rifle from the gun shop ? said he was a member of the drill team ? and
proceeded to twirl the rifle like a baton and perform marching maneuvers
in perfect cadence. It was then that I realized this man had pride.
Not long after that I was alone in my department and got busy. Noting it,
Dick came over to help. While I was trying to sell a $10 glove, he helped
a man who came to buy a pool cue. And in the process sold him a pool
table to go along with the pool cue. It was then that I realized this man
was a salesman.
As time went by, I found myself with a personal problem, and Dick was
there for me ? graciously, almost apologetically, but insistent. It was
then that I realized this man was my friend. And for all these years he
remained like a brother. Always supportive ? financially and emotionally
- respectful and caring, ignoring the fool in me, because that, as he used
to say, is what you do with people you love.
Back then Dick was a fashion plate; bold colors, right tie, right color
shirt, leather jacket. He always smoked too much and gourmet food to him
was a hamburger with fries and lots of salt. He was always seeking
stimulating conversation ? food for the soul to improve the mind. He did
not have a complicated lifestyle. Given a choice of 31 flavors of ice
cream, he would most likely choose vanilla.
As our friendship grew, I learned about his family ? the love for his
mother, sisters and brothers ? the fear and respect he had for his father.
And throughout the years, to me, he spoke about his family only in terms
of endearment.
Character was am important trait. That’s how he measured friends,
family and politicians. He would tell me… "When you lose your health, you
have lost something…lose your character and you have lost it all."
Dick was never comfortable surrounded by a lot of people for an extended
period of time. He was always eager to retreat to his familiar
surroundings where things were organized and neat. To me this was odd
because Dick’s personality was radiant ? a chameleon who could mingle and
intermingle with the young, the old, and people of different cultures.
He had an entrepreneurial mindset and was a dreamer of ideas that would
keep him mentally stimulated and worried at the same time. And he was a
terrific communicator ? an ability that made him the best salesman I know.
That’s what he did so well ? sell himself, his ideas, his products.
Dick was more prompt to come to you when you had adversity than when you
had prosperity. When I was involved in an assault that resulted in
injuries, it was Dick I called. He drove many miles to take me to the
hospital. And I remember him saying he hoped I got a better swing at the
attackers than I did at his curveball. I once got a flat tire on the
freeway. I called him. He showed up where I was stranded and had with
him the hub cap from the wheel of my car that had fallen off, and he saw
on the side of the freeway. He said, " I just knew this belonged to you."
Any I remember Mr. Robles. Mr. Robles was a sales lead I had who
cancelled our appointment three times. On the fourth attempt, Dick got
the lead, made the appointment and the call, and sold Mr. Robles a job
that cost the company $4,000 for $12,000. He said that it cost Mr. Robles
$4,000 for every time he cancelled on me. It became routine for Dick to
close sales at high profit margins. We called it ‘Benoit’s luck’.
‘Benoit’s luck’ meant a parking space would open up at a mall as soon as
he pulled in; the interest rate would drop when he wanted a mortgage; an
item would go on sale when he wanted to buy it; and while Benoit’s luck
abandoned him when it came to his health, it reached utopia when he met
Susie. I clearly remember the day he told me about her ? in a whisper,
like telling me a secret, he said ? "I met someone, she is special." And
right he was. I was thrilled to be the best man at their wedding on
February 22, 1981 ? and I still remember my toast. I said "Dick, Susie,
in the words of the fairy tale, may you live happily ever after." And I
stand here to tell you those words went from my mouth to God’s ears,
because Susie picked up the fragments of his life and made him whole
again, and joy was never taken away.
Susie embraced Dick’s kindness and idiosyncrasies, his stubbornness and
pride, his desire to be charitable with the ones he loved and his need for
privacy. She helped him live the organized life he so cherished. Because
of her, in the past few years, he learned to appreciate travel, expanded
his circle of friends, and developed a balance between living for the
moment and always waiting for tomorrow. And in return, Dick’s life
mission was to make Susie happy and Desi a very spoiled dog. He gave
Susie respect, financial security and at every opportunity tried to
unburden her from daily chores. He embraced her friends and family and
encouraged her individuality, while still being a couple. A good day for
Dick was Susie nearby, Desi on his lap and a couple of games on TV.
Dick and I never interfered with each other’s course in life, we never
gossiped about one another, and we kept each other’s secrets ? that was
our bond. But I will say this with certainty, his years with Susie gave
him more happiness, peace of mind and serenity than he had every dared to
desire. And I can also say this for certain: If a man’s life is judged by
how hard he works, how thoughtful he is, his integrity, how much he values
the people he loves, on his generosity, and on how sensitive he is to the
feelings of others, then Dick’s life was a huge success.
Death ends a life, but it does not end a relationship. And while death
brings sadness, it can also bring peace and closeness to the ones who have
their lives to live ? Dick would want that. He would way that while it is
okay to mourn, he would prefer we shared memories, see old friends, heal
ourselves and celebrate his life.
A poem I read says "Happy times and bygone days are never lost…In truth,
they grow more wonderful within the heart that keeps them."
Our friendship never depended on us being together. We didn’t have to see
each other very much, phone each other very much, or write each other very
much. And now that he is gone, like in the poem, I can only keep him in
my heart. So along with Susie, and the rest of you who loved him, I will
keep him in my heart. His memory never to escape the vault of memories of
my mind, until I too depart this earth. And when that happens, it is my
belief I will see him again. And when I see him, I hope he has a
baseball.