Steve.Botts@transamerica.com
30 May, 2006
I read about Billy Ray Wheeler's life with compassion and empathy. Once, I got very close to the point he did and for very similar reasons. I can't imagine the pain and sadness of his mother and the rest of his family. Billy Ray looks like a kind, compassionate man. I won't forget his story, and as a Catholic, I will pray for him.
Springbday526@aol.com
08 September, 2004
Janene
JoniSmith2001@aol.com
05 September, 2003
Wanted to leave some flowers for Billy and his family. No one can
understand why, but I am sure he has found peace now. Jodi Scholl Arizona
LiLWhitedove01@webtv.net
10 April, 2003
a field of flowers for you. may you find peace and comfort in the arms of
the angels and god at your side.
"Katrin Staudigel" (katrin.staudigel@gmx.de)
10 March, 2003
Die Blumen sind für Billy - und für seine Mutter
OHall105@aol.com
31 December, 2002
MoM still misses you, I love you always and only hope to meet you again
some day.
05 January, 2002
Today is your sister's and your birthday. Trina is 32 and you would have
been 35. I love you son and I still miss you terribly. I am so sorry and
wish you could be here to see your nephew Dylan, he is just like you and
Trina both. I just love that in Dylan. He makes me laugh, like you once
did. May God bless us all. MoM
18 November, 2001
Mother still misses you and loves you so very much.
"Cordray, Cole W Mr SBCCOM-UMCD"
(Cole.Cordray@umcd-emh1.umcd.army.mil)
22 November, 2000
My son took his life last year. I am in law enforcement and can
look at this from both the parent and Billy Ray's point of view, or what I
imagine his point of view may have been. We will never know in this life
the answer to 'Why?' But I know even in his pain and depression, your son
loved you and his family. I know this because I have been on the edge
also. Forgive your son, and take peace in the knowledge he is now beyond
all pain and loves you still. Cole
OHall105@aol.com
09 November, 2000
My Son,
Trina's little boy, Dylan, will be two years old this Saturday.
They
just moved into their new home in California. I will be visiting this
Christmas with them and we will all miss you. I guess you know that Dylan
looks so much like you when you were a little boy and he even has some of
your "little ways." I thank God for him for I know he sent Dylan to us
and gave us a little part of you in him. I love you son and I miss you so
terribly much. Mother
Ron Wilson (rcwilson@nb.sympatico.ca)
09 March, 2000
Reading the description of Billy Ray's life and death brought back a
flood of emotions I haven't felt for three years. I was at the same
point as Billy and was about a half hour away from doing the same thing. I
had been contemplating suicide for two months because of a mistake I had
made. Somehow something spoke to me and told me to reach out and talk to
the person I had hurt most. I thought it was impossible but I did and it
saved my life . That person told me instantly that they forgave me. i coud
not believe it . That person explained to me that the person I had hurt
the most turned out to be myself. I had let myself down to the point
where I felt I didn't deserve to live anymore.
I don't know for what reason Billy chose to do what he did. I can
tell you this after being in that situation: people around me knew there
was a problem but I refused to talk about it with anyone. Not my friends ,
not my wife, not my mother. I know if I was in the same situation again
that I would again refuse to talk about it. Only if you are at that point
in your life can you possibly understand. There were no words to comfort
me. I could not be comforted. I could not even smile anymore. I could not
think straight anymore. There was no joy left because of a choice I made.
I knew I had to live with it .
Its been three years and hardly a day goes by that I don't reflect
back to the morning when I made the choice to try and swim back to the
surface. It saddens me to think of those times. It saddens me that you are
left wondering why Billy chose the path he did. I can't answer that, but I
can tell you that he may have felt that he had no choice, that his heart
ached and he was overwhelmed with sadness. I am certain no one, not even
you, could have said anything to have him change his mind. It was what he
knew he had to do rather than go on in pain. Pain can happen so quickly.
I know he is not in pain now and that he is certainly at peace and
will never be punished for choosing the road he chose. I want to repeat
that - He will never be punished for choosing the road he chose. I hope
you will find peace and will be able to go on remembering the good times
and memories that you had with Billy Ray Jr. while he was with you.
Sincerely -
Ron
OHall105@aol.com
09 February, 2000
Billy, my son
I miss you so very much. My life will never be the same without
you.
I wanted so much to be there for you, but you didn't come to me. I will
always wonder why. I love you, son, and I miss you so very much. Mother
"Joel Sartori" (jsartori@bngmail.com)
07 October, 1999
Billy was a brave person, the story brought tears to my eyes. Remember to smile, and smile when you remember.
Joel
TRWD6770@aol.com
10 August, 1999
Dear Bro,
I wish you were here, I miss you so much.
I love you, Sis
TK (seminole.empire@usa.net)
06 August, 1999
The pressure and strain police officers come under can just get to be too
much. I'm confident Billy Ray accomplished many positive things during
his life and helped so many people. I'm sure there are many walking
around today that owe so much to your son. I hope you can find some
comfort in that knowledge. I'm sorry for your and his family's loss and
hope you and they can heal together.
Laurie Jalbert (cove@connected.bc.ca)
09 June, 1999
I just lost my mother on May 15th, 1999 at the age of 54. She had been ill
for about 4 years.She was my mother and my best friend. I am never on the
net but tonight I was feeling very lost and sad so I thought I would
search for info on grief. I do not know how I found this site but I did. I
too was born in 1967 and I too am a police officer. I am in the Royal
Canadian Mounted Police in Canada you may have heard of our police force.
I read your story about your son and I feel your pain. I know that as a
mother it is very difficult just having your child in a police force. My
mother was always worried about me especially since I am her baby daughter
and moved far away from her. This was not by choice but we are a Canada
wide police force and we go were they send us. I know that your son was a
good man because I believe you give a lot of yourself to do this kind of
work and you give it freely. I have been a police officer for seven years
and in that time I have seen and done things that have upset me but I am
still glad I do what I do. I wish I could take your pain away like someone
could take mine. Unfortunately I can't but I would like you to know that
my thoughts are with you and your family. I hope a day comes when we can
both understand why this has happened and we both can move on. Never
forget the love you shared and the happiness he brought you and you
brought him. With sympathy from Leanne.
CATHYLORR@aol.com
30 March, 1999
Just wanted to leave flowers and tell you that I admire Billy Ray and all
that he accomplished in his short lifetime. You can be proud you raised
such a fine son.
Cathy Wheeler
"Mistress Sid" (SidOSTL@inlink.com)
22 February, 1999
I, too, have many unanswered questions in life - all mysteries to me, I'm
afraid - as death has silenced unspoken truths, taking from my life the
answers I so desperately need and the loved ones I so dearly miss. I
grieve for you, your family and children, as well as the life that ended
without reason or explanation. We tread in a motionless sea together ~
Sid4Saken
Aimee Elliott (aelliott@assocresourcecenter.com)
27 April, 1998
Dearest Mother:
I was born in the year 1967 just like your beloved son, Billy.
I wanted to let you know that there is a lot of pain and
confusion for so many of us at this age... Billy must have
loved you (and his children) very dearly and paid with his life
for his guilt and confusion...
Please take try to take comfort (I know that it is difficult) in
knowing that it IS NOT your fault he chose this exit. If more
people were aware of the council that is so readily available to
all, there may not be so many of these tragedies.
I myself, am dealing with some very difficult past experiences
and it has only been through the strength of my husband and the
tender care of a professional counselor, that I am once again,
able to look to the future...
My most sincere sympathies are with you and your family. Your
love and devotion are apparent...
Aimee-
Pico Rivera Department of Public Safety (prsa@worldnet.att.net)
14 March, 1998
On behalf of the Catholic Peace Officers Association, our
sincerest sympathies to the family of Sgt. B. R. Wheeler.
"Cara O'Shea" (mbs-4g@carraig.ucd.ie)
26 January, 1998
It is unfortunate that such a fine man had to depart before his
time, but we’re sure he’s making many more children smile up
above. To all of Billy’s family and friends, things do get
better over time and we’re thinking of you over here in Ireland,
we’ll include you in our prayers Billy Ray.....
Cara and Emer